Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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