VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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