So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
