Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
