Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't deserve a penis
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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