he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
