playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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