I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
