Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
