We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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