To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
