Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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