How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize