I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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