it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
