yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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