I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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