a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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