Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
