Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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