Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
