that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
