my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
