I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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