I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
