I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize