That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
