Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
