hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's Friday. Sex?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
did i just pee glitter
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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