We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
