I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
