I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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