Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
