that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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