I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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