is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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