alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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