since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
a search helicopter?!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
