i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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