Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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