btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize