So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
