So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
