Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
