Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
