I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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