Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
