After last night, I could never be a politician.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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