his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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