yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just cropdusted the office
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize