Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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