? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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