I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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