I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize