I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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