did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
