proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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