I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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