what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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