You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
