her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
