Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
