Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
