I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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