I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
