What a fucking waste of an outfit
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
